What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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