No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
