Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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