yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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