last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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