i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
