I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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