how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
