We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
how does that bad decision feel?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
