Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
