Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
