i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
