they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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