And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
