if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
