p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
