I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
