You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
