She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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