no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize