ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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