This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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