i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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