Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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