I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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