I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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