i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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