is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize