big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we're making bets on your personal life
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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