I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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