New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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