you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
