he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
