I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
