I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
