Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
either way he was missing a nipple.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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