are you still at the devil's house?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
