I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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