i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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