oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
