batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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