i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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