An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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