Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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