My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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