Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
