I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
