the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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