I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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