she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
