You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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