He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
