No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
