the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just invented taco cereal.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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