All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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