yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
