Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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