xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
there is glitter all over my balls
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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