He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
