walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
