Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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