im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
