I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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