the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
