I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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