I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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