i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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