can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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