If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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