i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
either way he was missing a nipple.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
