Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i think my mom watched the whole time
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
