Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
