is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
