ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
