youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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