Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
is that a dick in a sweater?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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